The Hope & Despair of the Family Meal
Cooking apart, together.
As an undergrad, I was a Creative Writing major. When people asked what type of writer I was, I usually replied “I write long poems or very short stories.” I worked in publishing for a brief moment, before I became too distracted with food.
For a long time I disassociated myself with writing.
When I started this newsletter, it didn’t immediately occur to me that I would be revisiting my writing process (duh) and in many ways, a part of my brain/self that I had ignored for quite awhile.
It’s thrilling, and annoying.
I didn’t know when I started this newsletter that the world would crumble into a pandemic and Quarantine Living. Two days after I published the first TWK post, I found out I was pregnant again (currently 30 weeks and 2 days, but who’s counting). I didn’t know that my work as an acupuncturist would halt and possibly the way I work with clients change forever. I didn’t know my 3 yr old son would be home full-time and that in the initial transition to “home life, home mom” I would pretend we had a daily “schedule.” I didn’t know that someone very close to me would be diagnosed with Stage 4 Lymphoma in the height of the George Floyd protests, and bc of Covid complications, I wouldn’t be able to be by their side (physically) as they start chemo today. And that our social reckoning with how things used to be would need to be severely addressed and altered, not surprisingly needing to topple top systems that is our so-called modern-day government-fuckmess.
I didn’t know that I would start most days, for the past ~124 days, not wanting to think about food or cooking, but by the end of the day realize it really is the one thing that I can do every day that helps me feel like myself.
Food has always been a source of great fascination and joy for me. Food literally consumes me. This is a very hard time for everyone I know, and the uncertainty of how long, what, why, how, when etc. is bouldering on us. Food is also very charged and complicated - the political, social, cultural, personal implications we are needing to face now more than ever. Our food choices and dollars not only affect our own families, but all families, our planet, everything - so the question, that I initially wanted to help families address, is crucial now, How can we make better choices every single day (hint: don’t buy Goya).
Yesterday I felt really sad. We drove 30 min into the Maine countryside for the sole purpose of fresh raspberries. Immediately eating soft, tart berries did spark some joy (also the realization that roadside farm stands still exist with a cash box honor system was v heartwarming). I didn’t want to feel guilty for berry joy, but in a world that currently feels so unfair, I did too.
I keep thinking of the sentiment of something I read recently: ‘Life is amazing. Life is awful. Then life is amazing again.’
When I first started thinking about TWK project, I really wanted to write a cookbook, full of antidotes, realistic tools and recipes for enjoying food & cooking in a new, modern family paradigm. Personally, I believe this family meal book is missing from our dialogues and resources. I also didn’t know that feeding a child would be so challenging (same sentiment I’ve shared before: I love food, so clearly my son would imbibe all my good senses about eating and enjoying food, right?). Feeding young children is very rewarding. Then it isn’t. Then it is again.
Starting the TWK newsletter, I wanted to give a voice to this forever wavering satisfaction and frustration of the family meal. It remains two-fold: (why) helping parents understand the importance of early eating choices and habits from a microbiome perspective, and (how) inspiring food choices, cooking, eating that all families can enjoy, simply finding joy in every day eating. (I think this is the part where I try to come full circle with my thoughts?)…Like everything else, the family meal is complicated, maybe right now more than ever, and it can feel both hopeless and hopeful.
The point is, despite all of the above, I remain committed to helping you feel hopeful about it. Even if I have to give myself a pep talk about who cares, whyyyyy, over and over again. And however this project continues to evolve, thank you for reading.
Summer Notes From My Family Meals To Yours This Week
Fennel! Summer fennel is a thing, hallelujah. We planted *a lot* of fennel seeds this year and unknowingly too close together. Good news, I keep having to thin out baby fennel and fennel fronds (“fuzzy fennel hair”per my son) to use in creative ways. Fennel is a great kid vegetable and perfect for eating raw, crunchy as fennel stix or shaved spirals. The baby bulbs, I’ve been finely chopping and using in place of onion in dishes for sweet, anise-y flavor. And I made fennel frond-walnut pesto (great), have been adding fronds to my weekly green sauce (great), made a summer mint-frond-thyme tea (great), and threw a handful of fennel (bulb, frond) into pea dip (yum), which by the way I’ve been making on repeat still - and we’re eating on toasted sourdough with tahini and radishes. Braised or roasted fennel? Dream dishes.
Kohlrabi: We planted 22 bulbs in our kohlrabi patch and have eaten all but one. It now feels like a sacred bulb and I’m afraid to eat it. Good news, kohlrabi season lasts well into the late fall/winter on the east coast. Our second planting is going into the ground in the coming days, and until then, I’m seeking out all kohlrabi gardeners at farm stands. See previous post for kohlrabi ideas.
Berries: Best season. Most parents will have very little trouble convincing kids to eat berries. Even better if you can grow them or U-pick because it’s pure joy for kids. It’s one of my favorite childhood memories. This week, our friends let us pick some coveted raspberries from their front yard patch and my son hooted “This is terrific!” Berries are particularly great fruit because of the high fiber content (microbiome!) and offsets the sugar rush/crash. Eat by the handful. Eat with tangy yogurt or savory oats. Cornmeal and berries is also a great pair for muffins or a quick loaf.
Focaccia: I made the OG Saltie focaccia bread earlier this week and it’s perfect summer sandwich bread. It’s BLT season after all. I only did an 8 hr rise (started in am, baked before dinner) and it was totally delicious. Also, it’s great for Eggie Toast - our version of the weekday savory French Toast (just whip together eggs/splash milk/salt - dunk thinly sliced pieces of bread and swiftly pan fry in butter) - and eat absentmindedly while you focus on drinking coffee, while your child eats theirs pantless and pacing your small kitchen at wee 7am.
Tahini: Personally, I can’t get enough of this sandy spread this summer. It’s so versatile with summer veg, folded into dips and dressings, summer sandwiches (yes, I would put it on a BLT) and even a convincible alternative to peanut butter sandwiches *sometimes* (counts as variety!).
Grilled clams: Reminder that it’s very easy and delicious to grill most seafood. And keep it simple. Support your local fishermen and coastlines this summer. Also, clams and corn is never a bad idea. You may be surprised at how willing young children are to eating ‘fish out of shells’ or simply seafood in general. Also, quick pan-fried fish cakes are our go-to lunch these days.
Next week, I’ll write about the joys & demons of navigating SUGAR! with kids (number one question I get asked), something I like to think of as How To Limit Sugar Without Limiting Sugar.
Bon Appetit! Bonne Chance!
More recipe tips and photos on Instagram. Please follow along!
If you’re cooking this week: Please be sure to tag @thewholekohlrabi, or share the newsletter with old friends, new friends, colleagues, family, etc.